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releasenotes.txt
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releasenotes.txt
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Changes in version 1.2
New White Cards
---------------
A Bop It™.
Actually taking candy from a baby.
A death ray.
A defective condom.
A gentle caress of the inner thigh.
A homoerotic volleyball montage.
A mopey zoo lion.
Boogers.
Breaking out into song and dance.
Charisma.
Chutzpah.
Crystal meth.
Customer service representatives.
Embryonic stem cells.
Erectile dysfunction.
Euphoria™ by Calvin Klein.
Exactly what you’d expect.
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.
Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.
Flying sex snakes.
Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.
Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.
Hot cheese.
Jibber-jabber.
Lady Gaga.
MechaHitler.
Morgan Freeman’s voice.
My inner demons.
My Vagina.
Natural male enhancement.
Nicolas Cage.
Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.
Poor life choices.
Shapeshifters.
Soup that is too hot.
Switching to Geico®.
Teenage Pregnancy.
The Care Bear Stare.
The Little Engine That Could.
The true meaning of Christmas.
The Übermensch.
Unfathomable stupidity.
Vigilante justice.
Deleted White Cards
-------------------
Abstinence.
A cartoon camel enjoying the smooth, refreshing taste of a cigarette.
African children.
A grande sugar-free iced soy caramel macchiato.
A LAN party.
A neglected Tamagotchi™.
A vajazzled vagina.
Bananas in Pajamas.
Bestiality.
Cookie Monster devouring the Eucharist wafers.
Crumpets with the Queen.
Dave Matthews Band.
Douchebags on their iPhones.
Drum circles.
Eastern European Turbo-Folk music.
Faith healing.
Famine.
Flavored condoms.
Garth Brooks.
Have some more kugel.
Heath Ledger.
Hunting accidents.
(I am doing Kegels right now.)
Impotence.
Keeping Christ in Christmas.
Letting yourself go.
Making sex at her.
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
Mountain Dew Code Red.
Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Muzzy.
PCP.
Ring Pops™.
Sobbing into a Hungry-Man® Frozen Dinner.
Stunt doubles.
Substitute teachers.
That one gay Teletubby.
The deformed.
The People’s Elbow.
The Thong Song.
The Üermensch.
This answer is postmodern.
Those times when you get sand in your vagina.
Tiger Woods.
Twinkies.
Will Smith.
Changed White Cards
-------------------
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. → The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tweeting. → “Tweeting”.
Stephen Hawking talking dirty. → Steven Hawking talking dirty.
A time-travel paradox. → A time travel paradox.
GoGurt. → GoGurt®.
Donald Trump. → The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.
Passive-aggression. → Passive-aggressive Post-it notes
Shorties and blunts. → The chronic.
New Black Cards
---------------
Dear Abby, I’m having some trouble with ________ and would like your advice.
In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for ________.
Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to ________.
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s ________.
Next on ESPN2, the World Series of ________.
Step 1: ________. Step 2: ________. Step 3: Profit.
Deleted Black Cards
--------------------
Due to a PR fiasco, Walmart no longer offers ________.
In his new summer comedy, Rob Schneider is ________ trapped in the body of ________.
I wish I hadn’t lost the instruction manual for ________.
Life was difficult for cavemen before ________.
When I’m in prison, I’ll have smuggled in.
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Changed Black Cards
-------------------
After Hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn brought to the people of New Orleans ________.
→
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought ________ to the people of Haiti.
The US has begun airdropping ________ to the children of Afghanistan.
→
What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?