Upgrades
The current version 1.1 has a total of 16 upgrades, +19 which is currently unused.
Grandmas are twice as efficient. "Only a few have survived."
Unlock: Have 500 grandmas
Farms are twice as efficient. "Makes sense, right?"
Unlock: Have 500 farms
Mines are twice as efficient. "It's coming in late but we go it."
Unlock: Have 500 mines
Factories are twice as efficient. "Yes, we no longer need the birds and the bees, we can just create life itself!"
Unlock: Have 500 factories
Banks are twice as efficient. "Instead of making the bucks."
Unlock: Have 500 banks
Temples are twice as efficient. "Every sunday they meet to bake in secret."
Unlock: Have 500 temples
Wizard towers are twice as efficient. "Brand cookies which taste pretty bad but not taken off the market for some reason. These darn wizards and their silly magic, keeping their brand cookies alive with their magic!"
Unlock: Have 500 wizard towers
Shipments are twice as efficient. "HYPE, HYPE, HYPE, HYPE!"
Unlock: Have 500 shipments
Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. "[REDACTED]"
Unlock: Have 500 alchemy labs
Portals are twice as efficient. *"A quiet place to store the cookies. I don't know why you would want to do that though."
Unlock: Have 500 portals
Time machines are twice as efficient. "Counting the hourly seconds by minutes."
Unlock: Have 500 time machines
Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. "Just a bunch of tiny balls during scientific baking."
Unlock: Have 500 antimatter condensers
Prisms are twice as efficient. "Let's baking!"
Unlock: Have 500 prisms
Chancemakers are twice as efficient. "A dangerous place for your wallet has become heaven on earth for it."
Unlock: Have 500 chancemakers
Fractal engines are twice as efficient. "Think thonk."
Unlock: Have 500 fractal engines
Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. "He just happened to be smart enough to make both an achievement and upgrade mod for Cookie Clicker."
Unlock: Have 500 javascript consoles
Everything is more efficient per building owned. "I can already feel the power building up."
Unlock: Have 100 buildings
What it's supposed to do: Each building owned makes everything 0.005% more efficient.
Example: 3568 buildings x 0.005 = Everything is 17.84% more efficient.
The mouse and cursors gain +50 million cookies for each non-cursor object owned. "That's quite the finger power."
Unlock: Have 450 cursors
Clicking gains +1% of your CpS. "A true, true mouse."
Unlock: Make 1 octillion hand-made cookies
Grandmas are twice as efficient. "You would think this is some kind of upgraded and hot, new bingo game but you'd be wrong my friend. This is a SOAP for GRANNIES!"
Unlock: Have 500 grandmas
Farms are twice as efficient. "A modified tractor pretty much, doing its job."
Unlock: Have 500 farms
Mines are twice as efficient. "Who would've thought that a child's weird mixture of random things could turn out to be an excellent energy drink for miners and miners only. Too bad we can't share the recipe with anyone else."
Unlock: Have 500 mines
Factories are twice as efficient. "Dreams come true, little one."
Unlock: Have 500 factories
Banks are twice as efficient. "They say doing this is a bad idea but come on, we are converting everything into cookies now so why not?"
Unlock: Have 500 banks
Temples are twice as efficient. "Ancient stories about old ladies baking for the poor and getting murdered for doing so. Or maybe they just died of old age."
Unlock: Have 500 temples
Wizard towers are twice as efficient. "How are spells supposed to work if said spells have misspellings in them?"
Unlock: Have 500 wizard towers
Shipments are twice as efficient. "Zap Zap, to the end of the universe and back."
Unlock: Have 500 shipments
Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. "Crack them open, use them for baking."
Unlock: Have 500 alchemy labs
Portals are twice as efficient. "Al Port, claims he discovered the portals and named them after himself. Staff is no longer allowed to bring in homeless people."
Unlock: Have 500 portals
Time machines are twice as efficient. "Each decade, we start to rot more. We stink, get dirty. Even cookies aren't save from this fate."
Unlock: Have 500 time machines
Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. "Not the greatest idea we had."
Unlock: Have 500 antimatter condensers
Prisms are twice as efficient. "Also known as: Rainbow."
Unlock: Have 500 prisms
Chancemakers are twice as efficient. "No longer shall you ask "What are the odds?" with this!"
Unlock: Have 500 chancemakers
Fractal engines are twice as efficient. "Fractals are her specialty."
Unlock: Have 500 fractal engines
Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. "I am so tiered of this."
Unlock: Have 500 javascript consoles